The Life of a DeathEater Child
by grugster
Summary: This is a story about a Death Eater child who doesn’t want to follow her parents path. Snape will adopt her later. But first she tells about her life before the adoption and her friends Draco Malfoy, Millicent Bullstrode, Pansy Parkenson and Ginny Weasley
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to J.K. Rowling, and I am not earning anything by writing this story._

_I'm not a native speaker of English! _

_This story is totally different from my other one, but I hope you like it nevertheless. Please let me know!_

_Thanks a lot to my beta-readers, saiyanwizardgurl and_ jesusfreak100percent_ , for correcting my mistakes!  
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**Author Explanation:** _I always wondered what the life of a Death Eater child would be like if said child chose not to follow the Dark Lord. So this story is written from the perspective of such a child. I know that some people would say that a 13 year-old wouldn't speak like this, but I work with abused children and some of them really have crazy ideas like the ones I describe in this story. I also know a 14 year-old girl that speaks about her life like this, so it is from my own experiences that I write this stuff. Intelligent, abused children are often very introverted and they muse a lot about their lives. Intelligence can sometimes be a burden. When you find a way to their hearts, they will tell you about it and you will be surprised. So please don't flame me about this. Just try to trust me._

_This story is totally different from my other one, but I hope you like it nevertheless. Please let me know!_

_This will be an adoption fic, but the adoption will not happen for a while. A few chapters will just be about her past, so please be patient._

_I also had to change a few things from the Harry Potter world for my story. For example:_

_- New characters_

_- Each house has two Prefects for every year except the first year_

_- Harry will defeat Voldemort in his second year_

_- Professor Snape is married and will adopt the main character later_

_Beside these changes, there is also the mention of child abuse, so if you are offended, please don't read! _

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Chapter 1 – My name is Sara Drake**

What irony. The Dark Lord has been dead now for almost half a year, and my life is still miserable. And when you think it can't get any worse, life always goes that bit further. Everyone is so glad that Harry defeated the Dark Lord. He is one year above me (which means he is a fourth year). Ginny, my best friend, still has a crush on him. Yeah, he's okay. Not arrogant about his hero status. Quite the opposite. He's more of an outsider. Now that the _Daily Prophet_ has told the whole wizard community about his life – especially about the abuse he received from his relatives – he is even more secluded. He mostly spends his time with Ron and Hermione, avoiding the attention of others. I can understand him. Who wants to talk about things you only want to forget? It must be horrible to have your privacy displayed on the front page. I don't think I could stand it.

People think that they know what it really means to be the child of Death Eaters, like my parents were. They did not even consider that I had a different conviction than my parents. Not that I ever made _that_ known. I guess that is the difference between Harry and I: he is a true Gryffindor.

But before I confuse you any further, I should first tell you a little bit about myself. I am Sara Drake, the daughter of Francis and Amanda Drake, who were one of the highest among the ranks of the Dark Lord. Right now, they're already dead. Not that I regret it a bit. Like I mentioned before, I am normally a private person. I do not want people to know too much about me. Any information someone has about you can be used against you, so if you do not want to be hurt, you should be careful about how much you give away. Believe me, I have learned this the hard way.

In my family, I was only the bastard child, the child that should have been gifted with great intelligence, power, and an enormous will. A dark ritual was held at my birth by the Dark Lord so that I might gain these abilities. Something must have gone wrong because I think that I am just average in intelligence. The part that was supposed to give me an enormous will must have worked, though. Not as the Dark Lord intended, but I definitely have a strong will: the will to not be like my damn parents and their Death Eater friends. That, unfortunately, is why I had a miserable childhood.

Realizing his mistake, the Dark Lord tried to force me to his side by breaking my will. That meant a lot of pain and humiliation for me. With time, I started to make a game out of it, just to stay sane. When they hit me, I asked them if that was all they could do. I never cried in front of them, and I worked hard not to scream or moan in pain. When the Dark Lord threw a Cruciatus Curse on me, I tried to stand it as long as possible. I tried hard not to give him the satisfaction of seeing me scream or cry, but I must admit that it didn't work too well. I know that it;s abnormal to do that, but I'm sure that's the reason I'm still sane. I could not change my parents or the Dark Lord; I could only make the best out of the situation.

Making a game of fighting them was my logical conclusion. I could have spared myself a lot of pain by just keeping my mouth closed and taking what they gave me. I would never have given in or turned to their side. I would have killed myself before doing that.

Do not laugh or smirk about this. I know that I'm just a child, but believe me when I say that I would have done it. You cannot imagine the treatment I received from my parents and the Dark Lord; it could change a person, even a child.

I did not even know Albus Dumbledore when I first told my parents that he was the only one I would choose as my master. I just wanted to piss them off by telling them so because I knew that he was the person that they hated most. All that brought me were three broken ribs, a bad concussion, and five broken fingers. It probably would have amounted to much more if I had not passed out while they slowly broke the fifth finger. Albus Dumbledore and the Light became my mantra. I didn't even know much about either of them, but that didn't stop me from telling my friends about them. I wanted to make sure that they wouldn't follow the Dark Lord just because their parents did. I wanted them to decide for themselves. They should know _both_ sides. As the years went by, I learned more about Albus Dumbledore and his Order of the Phoenix. About his fight against the Dark Lord. I spoke with prisoners in the dungeons of my parents' mansion. They told me about Hogwarts and its Headmaster and about the former Death Eater who turned to become a spy for Dumbledore. I wanted to know these two men and the man that all Death Eaters feared – the Auror known as Mad-Eye Moody, the "Death-Eater Eater." I was engrossed in those stories, and, in time, I was convinced that the Light would win and that one day everything will be much better. I even believed that my life would be better. How stupid I was to believe such a thing.

Dumbledore, Harry, and the Order of the Phoenix destroyed the Dark Lord and his followers, but my life is still shit. I now live with my relatives that hate me for being a Death Eater's child. They believe that the devil is inside me, waiting to be freed and become the new Dark Lord.

_Isn't that funny?_

I was beaten my whole childhood for not wanting to become a Death Eater, and now I get beaten because people think I will become a Death Eater. My relatives think that beating me will keep me down. Learning that my place in this community is at the bottom, that I'm not worthy to stand with everyone else. They say that the Dark Lord has placed a dark seed inside me that has already sprouted and that it has to be stopped.

Shall I tell you something that really scares me? I have started to believe it myself. What if the Dark Lord really did place a dark seed in me during the ritual at my birth? What if it really sprouts and will push out all the light that I have collected all these years with the stories I heard about Dumbledore, Snape, and Moody?

In the past two and a half years at Hogwarts, I really felt that I am good. I absorbed all the light I could get like a dry sponge. Every single word the Headmaster spoke to me, I examined to find more than one meaning in it. He once told me that it does not matter what other people think about us or what they want us to become; only what we think about ourselves and what we want to become is important. The choices we make are important. That day, I left his office so happy. I could feel the light flowing through my veins. I even thought that if someone would look closely at me, they would see the light starting to escape my body because there was so much of it.

It was then that I realized was that light was: HOPE. Hope that the greatest wizard of this world had placed in me. This was not the only situation in which I completely lost the dark and heavy feeling inside me. It also happened when Professor McGonagall gave me ten points for transfiguring a needle into a ring on my first try. When she looked at me proudly, I could feel the darkness in me being suppressed by the light. And this happened a lot of times while I was at Hogwarts. When I had to go back home, the hope was still there. But the longer I was home, the more I could feel the darkness coming back. Now with my relatives, it is the same. Sometimes when they beat me or treat me like scum, I really start to feel the darkness creep up. Sometimes I wish I could hurt them as well. Is this the dark plant sprouting in me? Oh my, I've already told you too much. What did I tell you about not letting people know too much about your life? And now, I sit here and tell you my darkest thoughts and greatest fears. So this has to stop. Instead, I will tell you of my first year at Hogwarts.

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	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks a lot to my beta-reader,jesusfreak100percent__ , for correcting my mistakes!_

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**Chapter 2 – Old and New Friends**

The train ride was very exciting. I hardly left the house until then and so you can imagine what an adventure this ride was for me. Draco, Pansy, Millie and me were sitting in one compartment of the train. We have known us all our life.

Draco's parents are very rich and his charisma reflects it. He's always perfectly styled and has his nose as high as possible. Nobody would think that at home he was threatened like an annoying rat. His father is never satisfied with him. He is very intelligent. Maybe the Dark Lord will chose him to become one of his highest in future but his father won't see it. Draco always said that he will choose the same side as me but I'm not so sure about it. His father is as bad as mine but if Draco doesn't provoke him he leaves him in peace most of the time.

Draco's mother really loves him. You can see it in her eyes when she looks at him. She's always so sad. Sometimes I think that she would like to leave Draco's father but doesn't have the power for it. Draco likes to play the arrogant bastard. He wants people to think that he is in charge. The Malfoys are a very old pure-blood family and Draco is very proud of it. But when you ask him why he's proud of it, he can't answer you. In my opinion that's one of the examples for how simple it is to manipulate the minds of children. Eleven years he has heard that being a pure-blood is a good thing. And now when he reached an age where he can make his own conclusions and find his own convictions, this has been branded in him like a mark and it's very hard to get rid of.

Draco didn't want to become a Death Eater. We all knew what Death Eaters did to Muggles. Almost any manor has it's own dungeon with prisoners who are willing to tell the truth. And standing on a different side in the war was absolutely impossible for us to imagine. And none of my friends doubt that I would ever choose any other side than the Light.

Power was something Draco really would like to have. He would like to have the power to kill his father or at least to protect his mother from him. His mother was too weak to protect herself and Draco, so he found hope and strength by friendship. For all four of us our friendship was something very important. It made us strong. It was as if we were a little family. We could count on the others. If one of us felt bad the others were there for them. We tried to help each other when we were hurt or sad.

Millie even learned some healing spells and already was capable to let healing magic flow through her fingers. We were the only ones who knew that. This natural talent would be used by the Dark Lord and our parents against her will if they ever found out. Millie always was the cool one of us. She hardly spoke and most of the time was just observing the others. She once told me that she not only has to listen to the words people say but also has to read the lines between these words. At first I was confused by this statement but later I understood it better. It's hard to hide anything in front of Millie. Body language is something she can read as easy as a book. I'm sure she'll be a healer.

Pansy is the female counterpart of Draco. A little arrogant, very intelligent but also very funny. She is the only one of us who had a good childhood. Her parents supported the Dark Lord but also were very caring parents. They tried to hide the cruelty of being a Death Eater as best as possible from her. Of course they wanted their daughter to follow in their footsteps into the Dark Lords service but if they had to choose between the Dark Lord or their daughter, they would choose Pansy. We others could not say this about our parents. Pansy knew about our treatments at home, she often saw us injured. She helped us as much as possible. But speaking with her about it wasn't the same as with the others. So she always was a little outsider in our group. But this doesn't mean that we liked her any less. It was good to have at least one 'normal' person in our group. Her cheerfulness got us out of depression very often.

The aristocrat, the healer, the angle and the clown. Yes, they call me the clown because I always try to make fun of each situation. I learnt to wear my mask of playful happiness almost the whole time. That prevented me from curious questions of other people and awarded me with the angry faces of my parents, because it showed them that they can't break me. I realized that I feel much better this way. Making fun out of everything meant convincing myself that it wasn't that bad. Thinking or speaking about the bad things in my life just made me feel worse. So I decided that I wouldn't speak about it anymore. With time, I liked being called the Clown. I loved to make other people laugh, and the fact that people would never think something was wrong with me was a nice side effect.

I had my friends and at the moment that was the most important for me. We convinced each other that one day everything will change. That one day everything will be better. When we were sitting in the train compartment it was all the same. We were looking forward to seeing Hogwarts. To finally seeing Dumbledore, the man our parents feared so much.

We knew that we would see Severus Snape, the traitor. The Dark Lord always was so pissed off that he escaped him after his discovery. Knowing that he now lives happily with his family at Hogwarts made the Dark Lord furious beyond imagination. I learnt by private tutoring a lot about spells, hexes, charms and potions. I wasn't scared that I'd have problems in classes. I really was looking forward to Potions because this was my favourite during the private lessons. Being taught by the former spy for the light made it even more interesting but I also feared that he will loathe me because of my parents.

Generally I was worried how people will react to my name. Would all the teachers hate me? Most of them were in the Order of the Phoenix and were trying hard to catch our parents in the act and move them into Azkaban. So would they just see us as little Death Eaters. In my childish mind I pushed these thoughts away and told myself that I'd prove to them that I'm on their side. As _if_ they would mind a child being on their side.

When the discussion came to the sorting, we promised to stay friends no matter what house each of us would be placed in. We thought about the possibilities. For sure a possibility was we would come in Slytherin. All our parents were there. Maybe not Millicent but at least Draco and Pansy could be sorted into Ravenclaw. That wouldn't be too bad. Ravenclaws were known to be very intelligent. But also very studious and that was stopped the excitement. We wanted to have fun at Hogwarts, enjoying our time away from our parents _not_ learning all the day. Okay than there was Hufflepuff. None of us wanted to be placed in this house. In our opinion you were only placed there if you didn't fit anywhere else. The nobody's. Then there was Gryffindor. This house was where the brave ones were placed. Most of our parents enemies came from this house. For our parents this was the worst house ever.

While the other three decided that we'd all be placed in Slytherin, I was lost in thought. The devil in me was jumping in excitement for having another chance to piss my parents off. I just have to find a way to be placed in Gryffindor.

When we were walking into the Great Hall for the sorting ceremony, I got the first glace of the wizard my parents fear so much. He was sitting at the head table, calmly looking over his half-moon glasses at us. My eyes went wandering over the other teachers. Next to Prof. Dumbledore was sitting a dark man with the facial expression of a hawk. He was coolly observing us. That was Prof. Snape for sure. Next to him sat a very beautiful woman with the warmest eyes I've ever seen. All the other teachers looked down at us interestedly. No loathing yet but they didn't know who we were at the moment, did they?

When the hat was placed on my head I convinced him to place me into Gryffindor. It was quite a fight because he wanted to put me into Slytherin or at least Ravenclaw. But that wouldn't have pissed my parents as much as a placement into Gryffindor and so I convinced the hat that I'm a Gryffindor. I placed a triumphant smirk at Prof. McGonagal who was standing there looking a little shocked with the sorting hat in her hand and made my way to the Gryffindor table. The wonderful feeling of victory was so strong I didn't even realise the mumbles of the students and the shocked faces at the Gryffindor table until I was finallysitting down. My eyes met Prof. Dumbledore's. He was smiling interestedly at me and nodded his head in my direction. I got his attention. I felt so light hearted that I didn't care about the sceptical looks I got from my housemates.

The triumph was short lived. I had already realized my mistake when I entered the Gryffindor common room for the first time. All eyes were on me. A Death Eater shit in the holy rooms of the glorious Gryffindors. Only a red haired girl was looking at me curiously and, most importantly, without loathing in her eyes. And then the Weasley twins came over, dragging me further into the room. "Hey Drake, ignore these idiots. They don't know what a benefit it will be to have a little Snake amongst us." They were dragging me into an uncrowded corner. "Is it true that the Dark Lord teaches the children of his Death Eaters charms, hexes and potions before they even attend school?" I still can remember how I looked at them. My mind was racing. _Best to ground my place now, _I thought. I raised my wand and placed the tip of it direct at the chest of the one standing nearest to me. "Do you want to find out?" I hissed. I expected everything except for them to burst out laughing. I was too confused to react. One of them placed a hand on my shoulder and supported himself on it while he leant over, laughing like crazy. When the one, who's hand still was on my shoulder, regained his control, he said: "Oh my, you have quite a temper little one." He was smiling at me. "I'm Fred and this is George. Weasleys as you can undoubtedly see." With this he pointed at his hair. "We are in our third year. We just want to speak with you about closing alliances. And now lower your wand or do you want to kill me by poking a hole in my chest?" And that was the start of our friendship.

We couldn't speak about anything at this evening because Hermione Granger interrupted our conversation. "Oh come on you two. Leave her alone," with that she pushed Fred out of the way and approached me. "I'm Hermione Granger, second year. I'll show you your dormitory." With this, and a final glare to Fred and George, she shoved me up the stairs to the first year's girls dormitory. I took the bed in the corner at the end of the room. Next to me the red haired girl already was sitting on her bed and fixed me with her curious eyes.

Hermione left us with a request to unpack our things. I just slammed down on the bed, thinking of my friends who were all now in the Slytherin common room and enjoying being away from home. I already started to regret my little fight with the sorting hat. _What have I brought myself into with this? _

My thought were interrupted by Ginny who sat herself on my bed. "I'm Ginny, and… you?" I looked at her wondering why she just chose me to speak to.

"I'm Sara but you'd better not talk to me. Your parents won't be happy when they hear you were talking to a Drake."

My family even at that time was known to be Death Eaters but nobody could proof it. My father had friends in the high ranks of the ministry, so nobody even tried accusing them.

"My parents say that I should not judge a book by it's cover. I don't care what all the others say. I'm a Weasley. Do you know what they say about us?"

I just looked at her, still being a little surprised that she wants to be friend with me. Of course I knew what people say about the Weasley's. They were a big family so there are a lot of jokes about being incapable to use contraception spells or potions. And they were very poor. When someone sees a person that wears old and shabby clothes, they often say "Look a Weasley!"

I never understood how people can think something like this funny. Oh yeah, and I definitely knew what my parents and there damn Death Eater friends were thinking about the Weasleys. They were pure bloods who ally with the Muggles, or as they would say it, the mudbloods. The Weasleys even love anything that has to do with Muggles. Mr. Weasley is working for the Muggle department in the Ministry. But I didn't tell her all this and, seeing that I wasn't going to answer her question, she said sadly "They laugh about us because we are poor and because we're such a big family".

"But they will avoid you even more if you hang around with me," I stated.

"Who cares. I don't know why but I think I like you," I rolled my eyes at this. Being a member of one of the most hated family in the Dark Lords opinion, she should be much more cautious in the presence of a possible Death Eater-in-the-making. At least that's what everyone expected of me.

"You don't know me, so why do you like me?"

She just shrugged her shoulders and than started to rummage in her pocket. Appearing was a middle size box. She opened it and a the most delicious smell I ever had smelled in my life came out of it. I leaned over to see what the cause of this smell was. In the box was a brown crushed mass with tiny almost dark bits in it. Ginny blushed. "My mom made it for me and told me to share it with a friend in the Hogwarts express. But nobody wanted to sit with me and so I ended up in the apartment with my brother Ron and his friends, Harry and Hermione. Harry bought us sweets from the old women's trolley. So there wasn't any need to take out my chocolate cake. It is crushed but it still taste gorgeous."

She shoved the box under my nose and gestured to me to try it. I did and from that moment on I was not only addicted to Mrs. Weasley's baking but also had a new best friend.

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	3. Chapter 3

**WARNING**

_This chapter is still unbetaed!!!! My betas don't have time but I can't wait any longer because I fear I will loose the few people who already liked this story by waiting for the corrected version. This story is so different from my other two stories and I'm really unsure about it. Therefore I'm very glad about any review I get about it. Please tell me what you think. And please overlook my mistakes because I only had 5 years English in school! And I left school many years ago. :) I hope this story isn't too confusing! _

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Chapter 3 – The Howler**

Ginny became my best friend in Gryffindor from this day on. The first months I spent all my time while being in the Gryffindors common room with her or Fred and George. I avoided most of the other Gryffindors because I didn't understand them. It was as if they were from another planet. Their problems were so stupid. They were worried that their parents would only travel to Norway with them next year and not to Hawaii. Or that they would get the Nimbus 2000 instead of the Nimbus 2001 for Christmas. That was so stupid.

The only thing _I_ was worried about was that the school year will be over too fast and I have to go back to my parents. And I of course I was worried that I would get myself expelled because even in the first month I already got in trouble with some teachers. So the problems of my classmates were definitely not mine.

At least Ginny was normal in my view. She wanted to be as good as possible in all the subjects to make her mother proud of her only girl. But she stills always was ready for fun and mischief.

I tried to spend a lot of time with my Slytherin friends. Draco, Pansy and Millie were not very happy that I was placed into Gryffindor. And when I told them that it was my own fault they even didn't speak to me for a day. But like good friends they forgave me.

Especially when the Howler of my parents arrived. The whole school witnessed it. I wished the ground would open and swallow me. The voice of my father was thundering through the great hall while breakfast. He screamed that I'm a damn bastard who disgraced the Drake family name. He threatened to skin me alive when I will come home for holiday. Only my Slytherin friends knew what he was referring to – the Sorting into Gryffindor. But there were many worried faces on me, from the house tables and from the teacher table.

My status under the students changed from this day on. They were not looking at me with loathe any longer. They realized that it isn't a nice life to live with Death Eater parents. But I was still not interested in spending time with them because we were just to different. Ginny never asked what the Howler was about. She just respected that I didn't want to speak about it. After the Howler I really wondered if it was a good idea to let myself be sorted into Gryffindor.

Two days after it a big owl was landing in front of my plate at breakfast. I was confused because I never get any owls but the animal was pushing his leg impatiently in my direction. The parcel was not very big and the paper looked as if it wasn't used the first time. When I opened it a wonderful smell escaped it. A handwritten small note was attached to it.

_Ginny said you liked the cake. I hope you like these cookies as well. Take care. Mrs. Weasley _

I was dumbfounded and when I looked at Ginny she blushed and said: "I wrote her about the Howler, Sara. I hope you aren't angry now."

I said nothing to her, just took one of the cookies and than handed the boxed to her to take one. That was the first present I ever got and I swear I will never forget the warm feeling this was causing.

The teacher of course didn't let the Howler affair slip. Professor McGonagall called me into her office. She offered tea to me and tried to get me speaking about what caused my parent to send this Howler and if they abuse me. I told her that I had wrote my parent a letter a few days ago in which I told them about a prank I played on one of our neighbors while my last days at home. That I destroyed a very expensive vase by it and than even lied to him that I will pay for it. I also told her that my father just is a little impulsive and that he would never really punish me physically.

Her eye became small slits while she surveyed me closely. Realizing that she wouldn't get anything more out of me and that she couldn't do anything else at the moment, she dimissed me. Not without saying that I could ever come to speak with her.

As if that wasn't enough many of the professors seem to have a close eye on me since that day. Especially Professor Snape and Professor Moody. Professor Dumbledore-Snape, our history teacher was the worst. She is the ideal of a mother. When you see her with her 5 year old twins you can't stop gaping. The twins look exactly like miniature Snape's, but without the cold expression, their father mostly had on his face,very cute. They hardly are seen in the castle. I don't know were they spent the day. But seeing her with them is simply breathtaking. Growing up with a mother that looks as if she will throw up when you come near her doesn't prepare you for seeing this. She has so much love in her. When she is tenderly stroking the cheeks of her sons, speaking to them or taking them on her lap at the head table, she is almost sparkling. With one look she can not only soften the cool and harsh expression of the Hogwarts Potions Master but even can bring him to smile. And believe me when you know Professor Snape's normal behavior, this is really scary to see for the first time.

When a student has a problem the first adult person she/he would ask for help would be Prof. Dumbledore-Snape. She is a woman you really conveys that you can come to her with anything, that she always would listen to you and take you serious.

But just WHEN you really want to speak about anything, in my case it wasn't. So her attempts in getting me to speak with her, failed. I tried to avoid her because she is also one of these persons who always tries to take physical contact. Laying a hand on your shoulder or your head or god beware trying to hug you. For someone who isn't used to this kind of attention, it can be very scary. So I always tried to be the last one to come in class and being the first to leave it.

So my first weeks of the school year were passing without big problems. My grades were average even when I already knew most of the stuff they taught us. I was not at this school to learn, I was here to have as much fun as possible and enjoying my time away from my miserable home. And I HAD a lot of fun. Fred and George showed me the room of requirement and we spent a lot of time in there to brew for their little joke and firework articles. They always had genial ideas and I had the knowledge to convert it. When I didn't knew who to brew something I went to the library and looked for the right book to help me. Already in this age I was gifted with a great talent in brewing potions. I learned fast and had a lot of fun doing it. My grades in Potions were outstanding. My classmates say that I'm the first Gryffindor that ever managed to get points awarded by Prof. Snape. So Fred and George were right at my first day at school, It has a benefit to have a snake amongst all the lions.

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